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If you thought Renesmee was hard enough, wait until you meet the next Cullen baby!
(Carlisle comes home with a pill bottle and everyone is dying just to see what's inside)
Carlisle: Ok, everyone, look what the Volturi sent us...candied blood!
Jacquel: How odd. This is what they could come up with?
(Carlisle comes home with a pill bottle and everyone is dying just to see what's inside)
Carlisle: Ok, everyone, look what the Volturi sent us...candied blood!
Jacquel: How odd. This is what they could come up with?
Carlisle: It's a peace treaty. You know, after we humiliated them and everything. Let's eat up! (everyone takes a pill of candied blood and they all eat)
Jasper: Something's happening to me.
Emmett: Yeah. Me too. (Just then, Jacquel makes a discovery)
Aro: Hahahahahahahaha! How does it feel to be humiliated?
Rosalie: We don't like it!
Caius: Of course you don't like it! This is payback for the times you humiliated us!
Alice: Like how?
Marcus: You don't remember? First, you sent those cops after us, and then your shapeshifting friends humiliated us on an international scale, meaning that our dinner is mocking us, even as we eat them!
Bella: So? That's what you deserve!
Caius: We have another surprise for you...just you wait! (screen cuts off)
Esme: Now what?
All: What? (they all stare at Carlisle)
Carlisle: These pills have been coded to turn us into humans for the next few months. It may be two months or even a whole year. We don't know exactly yet.
Rosalie: I say let's be humans forever.
Charlie: (showing up) Don't tempt fate, Rosalie. It ill becomes you.
Rosalie: This is all your fault!
Bella: Rosalie, don't yell at my dad!
Rosalie: If it weren't for him, we wouldn't be in this situation, now would we?
Billy: (shows up with Jacob) What's this? The Volturi have humiliated you?
Jacob: How's about we send them an exploding cake.
Charlie: We will do no such thing, Jacob.
Rosalie: Now what do you say we do about this?
Carlisle: Like I said, this is only temporary. We'll go back to normal...soon.
(a few weeks later. Jacquel has her head in the toilet and Bella is tugging back her hair)
Jacquel: This is so unfair! Nobody told me I could have a baby! I thought I was done after having Delicia!
Alice: Apparently, you're not, since it is believed that you are expecting another child. And Bella. And Esme. And Rosalie.
Bella: And if you ask me, they're being such goofballs. Esme more than Rosalie.
Jasper: I don't blame her. After all, she did lose her first baby.
Bella: Even so, Rosalie doesn't have to flaunt it in my face.
Alice: I know! She's being so wrapped up in herself it makes me sick! (just then, she starts throwing up)
Jacquel: I guess either Alice is sick of Rosalie, or she's expecting as well. I can't tell which.
(weeks later...)
Carlisle: Everyone seems to be doing just fine...
Esme: Thank God!
Carlisle: Except for Jacquelyn. She appears to be 3 months pregnant.
Jacquel: I WHAT???
Carlisle: Apparently your pregnancy is accelerating at three times the length of a normal human pregnancy. That is quite odd.
Jacquel: Well, after all, I was born premature.
Rosalie: What exactly does that mean for her?
Carlisle: Two things: either she may not appear to be so human or it's just a rare coincidence. I'm leaning more on the former than the latter.
Emmett: You can't tell me Jacquel's some kind of hybrid, or is she?
Jacquel: My mother was a witch, that alone is enough to explain things, right?
Alice: Not how I see it. (Jacob shows up)
Jacob: So, how's life as not-leeches treating you? (everyone glares at him) What?
Jacquel: Don't make fun of us, Jake. Don't you have your own problems to deal with?
Jacob: Yeah! Leah's being a whiny bitch again!
Rosalie: That's what happens when you marry the girl your boss knocked up!
Jacob: And you wanna know how to humiliate a blond? Just put superglue in her hair! (all but Emmett laugh)
Emmett: Don't mess with my Rosie!
Carlisle: (ignoring everything) We're going to have to find your father, Jacquelyn. This is kind of weird.
Esme: Speaking of which, where's Edward and Bella?
*at Charlie's house*
Bella: Dad?
Charlie: Yes, Bella?
Bella: Edward and I have something to tell you.
Charlie: You didn't get sick again, did you?
Edward: Nothing like that. Bella and I are expecting our second child.
Charlie: WHAT????
To be continued...
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