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Bella was tired of Edward being so afraid of sex, so she sets out to cure his fears.
Edward was sitting in his room when suddenly Bella burst in. She had an angry look on her face. She said, "Edward Anthony Masen-Cullen, what the hell is your problem?"
"What problem, Bella?" Edward answered with a question of his own.
"Edward Cullen," Bella started, "why is it that you're afraid of sex?"
Edward stared at her for a very long time. He considered making up something crazy, but then he said, "Years ago, I fell in love with a girl. She looked just like you. Her name was Colleen Demarcus."
"Really?" said Bella.
Edward said, "But there was the war, and both Colleen's father and brother were killed and Colleen's mother went insane. My family reached out to her when she needed it."
"So, where are we going with this?" asked Bella.
"As it were, Colleen and I managed to fall in love," said Edward. "And I knew that I wanted to go off to Europe to fight in the war. My mother would not have that at all. She wanted me to stay and attend Juilliard and marry Colleen. My father wanted me to go to Harvard, but marry some other girl."
"But what did Colleen want?" Bella asked.
"All she wanted was for her mother to recover," said Edward. "Her uncle and aunt had to step in and have her mother committed to a mental hospital. They even arranged for Colleen to marry some poor boy so that they could keep her in their midst. But she refused and continued to see me."
"So what happened next?" Bella was still unconvinced.
"My father grew ill," said Edward. "The influenza was getting worse. people were dying left and right. One day, he was taken to the hospital, where he eventually died."
"You must have been devastated," said Bella.
"Things got worse," said Edward. "By the time I had gotten sick, Colleen and I had planned to marry. When that happened, I was too sick to do anything, not even to play the piano. Colleen was banned from seeing me, lest she get sick as well. Anyway, you know the rest of the story."
Emmett came in overhearing the story. He said, "Wow, Eddie. Didn't think you had another girlfriend before Bella here."
"Emmett, get out," Bella said as she threw a pillow at him. "Edward is in pain right now."
"That's why I'm afraid to simply be with you," said Edward. "It just brings back...too many painful memories."
"Awww, what's wrong with Ed-weird?" Jacob mocked. "Is he scared of commitment?"
"JACOB, OUT!!!" Bella yelled as she hurled a pillow at him.
"I was just saying..." Jacob cried out as the pillow hit him in the face.
"Which reminds me," said Emmett, "we have some little guests downstairs. Esme is entertaining them as we speak."
"Really?" Edward gave him a weird look as they all walked downstairs. There, in the kitchen, they spotted Esme speaking to two small girls and a tiny little boy. "These three children are somehow related to Edward," Carlisle said as he came into the kitchen. "Perhaps our boy here is their grandfather or something like that."
Edward stared at the children. They all had his brown hair and green eyes. "Uhhhh..." he frowned. "What are their names?"
Carlisle said, "Their names are Rosemary, Abigail, and Robert Masen and they just happened to be descended from a certain Colleen Demarcus, who lived in Chicago during the same time that Edward Masen lived there. But it took the social worker several years to actually track down their last living relative, which just happened to be their great-grandfather..."
"Way to go, grandpa!" Emmett cheered, but Bella silenced him with a punch on the arm.
But nothing could compare to Edward's reaction to the three children sitting before him. His great-grandchildren. His descendants. Colleen must have had a child after his apparent "death" and that son had a son, who had the children.
Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice were in the living room when a loud THUMP! was heard. They all rushed into the kitchen and saw Edward lying on the floor. "Ok, what just happened?" said Rosalie.
"He fainted," said Bella.
“Well, whatever it was, I didn’t see it coming,” said Alice.
Bella sighed and watched as Emmett and Jasper lifted him up and took him to the couch. She said to Edward, “Now why can’t we…you know, have sex?”
“You could have children,” Edward moaned.
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” said Carlisle. “In fact, it’s good if you and Bella have some children. Make this family a little bigger. For many years, it’s been just us, and our family has stayed the same. I wonder if I myself had left a line of descendants that I don’t even know about…”
“Yeah, about that,” said Jacob. “I just happened to see a bunch of young boys who look suspiciously like Emmett…”
Rosalie glared at him and he said, “What? If Edward has descendants, when why can’t I?”
Bella sighed and shook her head; the Cullen family was certainly getting bigger. But for some reason, her original question was never answered.
Bella sighed and watched as Emmett and Jasper lifted him up and took him to the couch. She said to Edward, “Now why can’t we…you know, have sex?”
“You could have children,” Edward moaned.
“Well, there’s nothing wrong with that,” said Carlisle. “In fact, it’s good if you and Bella have some children. Make this family a little bigger. For many years, it’s been just us, and our family has stayed the same. I wonder if I myself had left a line of descendants that I don’t even know about…”
“Yeah, about that,” said Jacob. “I just happened to see a bunch of young boys who look suspiciously like Emmett…”
Rosalie glared at him and he said, “What? If Edward has descendants, when why can’t I?”
Bella sighed and shook her head; the Cullen family was certainly getting bigger. But for some reason, her original question was never answered.
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